greetings.

today was greatly inspired by ms cheah to work hard.
i'm going to start off with reader's digest and TIMES mag
to know more current affairs and vocabulary since
i have a super weak foundation. oh gosh.
i was so traumatised by ms cheah and her HELLO!
i was nearly freaked out when i pick up my phone
and heard someone saying HELLLOOO to me.
i'm so going to make everyone shock and wow
with my suddenly improvement in LA for promos
coz i have planned my
AWESOME promo intensive mugging list!
in another words, i'm going to study hard and
get myself prepared for promos NOW!
i'm so not going to end my TA2 life like that(current state)!

okay so went to yunan OCIP meeting.
ended pretty late. they are having bazaar.
i have no idea abt anything and
i have to get down to work on the second day.
hectic life right? the aim is to raise as much fund as possible.
i'm handling my shift all alone. hopefully everything runs smoothly.

on a more serious tone.
i have no idea why am i in such a bad mood recently.
i'm totally confused what i really want now.
but sometimes things just change so fast that
it doesnt give you time to decide and think.
things are no longer like the past.
things are definitely more difficult and different to face now.
ever been speechless when you face someone?
do you still know or even recognise who is who?
esp those people who you once closed to?
are you ready to face and accept them again?
or would you take a neutral stand,
just let go of your hands and left them in lurch?
or maybe become hard-hearted and cut the ties?

i have never expect myself to explode(emotionally)
all of a sudden after one year of shutting it down.
i can tell you that it's not easy to make me really mad and stuff. those usual stuff abt bitching abt others, complaining or whinning 
are just normal stuff and i dont meant by really angry when i say it.
(not even the fish issue can get me burning mad inside)
i might get 'mad' and laugh off as a joke.
it's been so long that i finally get really mad and yell at ppl.
not that i have a choice. for that instant or two, i just cant control.
maybe just like what others said, i've lost it.
ya and there comes ppl saying things like
'hey, you're HUIFEN. you cant afford to lose it!
do you know what it meant by losing it?'
i had have enough of all this. i'm not superwoman.
i'm not a girl with high EQ to control my mood.
my emotions are not much to my control now
if anythings just gets into my way,
i wont hesitate but to go all my way to get rid of it.
say me harsh or whatsoever coz i really cant be bothered.
sorry if i might have been harsh, but think my words through.
they are not harsh but that's fact and that's the ultimate truth.

i'm like a tank of kerosene.
all you have to do is to create some sparks
the next moment a forest fire is created.
are you able to face the consequences?
death and loss of loves one? injury? hurt?
do sth to it before it's too late,
coz when fire finishes bruning,
there's no turning point by then.